Change of Heart
Greetings family & friends,
I come before you humbled by God, again. In the midst of a troubled business relationship, with friends…I found myself not behaving much like a Christian.
Business = Discussion, agreement, contract, work, payment, but this time…no payment. After a couple of diplomatic back and forth emails Tuesday and Wednesday, heat arose within both sides of the conflict.
After reading the client's last response Thursday afternoon, I began to respond in similar fashion, with anger and malice to make them feel every pain I could inflict. Since I was in fact being harmed by their breaking the contract and not paying as agreed.
I did not however have time to respond properly as the day was busy and I had to be at Everglades Correctional Institution for Prison Fellowship. I was fuming the entire ride, thinking of what I would say and how I would say it. Who I would report them to and humiliate them for not just crossing me from a business perspective but in the process throwing away what I thought was a friendship.
I was hurt, and being the sensitive man I am, have been known to shed a tear here and there in a good movie. We all know the first response to being hurt is to hurt back, it wasn’t about the money. It's not even a lot of money. It was the principle of the matter. And I needed them to feel as much pain as I felt, if not more while learning their lesson of who they were messing with.
I wanted revenge! Yet I know Romans Chapter 12 says not to repay evil for evil and if it’s up to me, live at peace with everyone never taking revenge for vengeance belongs to the Lord, who judges us all.
Finally arriving at ECI Thursday night, I had to put on a straight face to go minister to and fellowship with the inmates. Entering the space with my fellow facilitators, I was immediately reminded of how grand of a life I have and once embraced by the inmates, warmed right up.
We opened in prayer and dug into the evening's content…forgiveness. I wanted to harden my heart but the Holy Spirit was already past the gatekeeper. I began to smile and noticed many others around the room who seemed to have also dealt with resolving conflicts in their lives.
The client withholding the payments didn’t hurt me in the least, financially or physically..it was my pride that was damaged. Proverbs 11:2 says “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” Proverbs 16:5 says “The Lord detests all the proud of heart”.
The material of the night hammered home humility and a mindfulness for treating others not only as we want to be treated but how God commands. Colossians 3:12 - 13 says “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”.
Some of the inmates shared their personal experiences and struggles with forgiveness. And let me tell you by the time the session was over I realized how trivial my situation is.
Needless to say, God changed my heart as only he can. I composed a very simple email letting the client know that even though they are wrong, I forgive them of their debt and wish them much success in their business. Lastly, that my change of heart is only by the grace of God who loves them just as much as he loves me. I do this in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.
Colossians 3:14 - Above all these virtues put on Love, which binds them all together.
Amen
Be Encouraged & Love, Always.